Don't forget to B-R-E-A-T-H

Today was a hellish day. It was terrible from sun up to sun down. I did momentarily contemplate leaving my kids at Ikea and taking myself to McDonald's for some peace and quite..then going back to Ikea and pretending like I "lost" my kids...when i probably just left them playing in the kid area.

At around 3pm I allowed my children to have a self government and leave me alone...didn't go well. I did't think it would, but mom had mentally checked out.

As I write this my daughter is repeating "mommie, mommie, mommie" from her doorway. On any other day I would acknowledge her...walk into her room give her a hug and kiss and ask "what's wrong baby?"...right now i am just going to ignore it though. Ihave a headache the size of Texas...yes Houston, we most definitely have a problem.

Amongst the nightmare of things today..my daughter COMPLETELY trashed her room! On a daily basis I refold the clothes she takes out of all her drawers to makes what she calls "a clothing cake". Today she took it to a whole other level. she dumped out everything from her dresser drawers, all her millions of shoes from her closet, every bloody toy in her room and every single item off she shelf. After seeing that I mentally made the note that I am stripping her room bare! Well..I am for sure removing her dresser out of her room, I am sick of day in and day out having to re-due her clothes because she wants to have "clothing cake parties".

My children who usually have their "moments" don't usually get into full on fights with eachother. Today I could not keep them apart. They fought all flipin day long! They would start hitting eachother then I would seperate them and put them in their own rooms to play...then 10 minutes later they would find away back to eachother and start again (keep in mind, they had plenty of timeouts while this was going down). After about 20 tries i got sick of it..i was defeated.."you wanna beat the hell out of eachother? okay. " Yes, i know what you are thinking, Gasp "Bad mommie!". Look, I have no illusions that i'll be winning any type of mother of the year award anytime soon.

I think somehwhere after my daughter took my house and car keys and threw them in the bushes, I just lost it. Not in the sense that I went gangbuster and went Ike and Tina on my kids...But i was soooo over it. My mind had shut down from dealing with them. That has never actually happened. On rough days I hold it together pretty well until they go down to bed. I kindly informed my children who usually stay up till 8pm, that they would be going to bed at 6pm tonight since neither of them know how to keep their hands to theirselves (yes..that tune "keep your hands to yourself from Yo Gabba Gabba came into my head just now). That was of course met by tears and whinning..in which..i didn't care.

I was actually at the point where if my kids were swinging on the top of a chanderlier I would be like, "just try not to land on your face when you fall" and keep on walking like it was nothing. no stoppping to freak out and rush to grab them and get them down. Nope, not today. Today..this mommie was worn and beat down.

Yeah, today was a no good, very bad day. Hopefully tomorrow is better.