A post about babies, boobies, and a grenade

So as I have been deciding off and on to make baby 3 or cap it with the 2 we have. I was totally stoked about getting baby 3 out in the world possible before heading to Mormon hill…also knows as Mecca to Mormons, (yeah, I’m LDS) then my son had a major melt down today…MAJOR! I was tempted to drop him off at “a safe place” ( fire department) and drive my ace home…have some of that wine my neighbors had sent over that I have been holding out on, ya know…Since I am LDS I don’t drink, but with the day I had I WAS thinking, “ ah, what the hail.” Finally we made it to his bed, in which I happily laid him down, bolted my daughter in her room. Shut my door and refused to answer when my children were yelling, “mommy!”

TMI ( too much information) ALERT. Avoid this section if you know me or have seen me casually in passing but are too stuck up to say hi.

That was not even 100% of the reason why I was thinking X on the baby factor. I remember my husband saying the whole [birthing] process was like “watching a grenade go off” I won’t go into much detail, but you know what mean if you have had a child and you didn’t have them via C-section. I remember thinking “WTF! They did not even explain this in my labor and delivery class” I was a hot mess for about 2 weeks (after delivery) …wobbling around in pain, sitting on donuts ( until kids I always assumed a donut was for eating) .

Then I flashed back to nursing. Holy cow my boobs! The only thing that comes out of your mouth is “DON’T FREAKIN' TOUCH ME!” Personally I think labor and delivery classes are all bull. No ONE does that. There was no me breathing and counting one, two, and three. My husband was freaked out in a corner. I was huffing pine sol while in the delivery room (hey some people eat soil when pregnant…mine was pine sol). Then I was SOOOO medicated. I was on everything under the sun, I didn’t feel anything when my daughter came out. Then they started beating on my stomach, “What the Hail are you doing!” ?? That part I felt. After I had her , instantly all my medicine wore off and I was in for the worst time of my life, soar boobies, bleeding boobies and of course the grenade I was dealing with down there.”

My second one came easier…but beforehand was more painful. I remember telling my doctor, “no, I don’t want to push, it hurts” all things I should have thought about before getting knocked up a second time. I had an epidural shot ( because I was in no way brave enough to have a “natural” birth…the epidural is as natural as I get…hook it up doc!) but it only worked for half of my body. I kept pushing that button to release more…but it wasn’t doing anything but making one side more numb and the other side still felt EVERYTHING! But the recovery was crazy fast with him. I literally bounced back after I had him. I was like, “can I just get my baby and go home? I got this.” But no…I was on lock down in the hospital.

So I’m thinking…what will the 3^rd one be like? Maybe a bit of both mixed in? Maybe I’ll have crazy labor pains and a hard recovery? Or maybe I’ll have an easy delivery and an easy recovery?

Someone once said to me “you won’t remember any of the pain at all and you will want to have dozens more…” Newsflash…I got a memory like an elephant. I remember! Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with hot flashes because I am reliving the birth of my children. No…I don’t like being pregnant…I like being in labor even less. I do on the other hand Love when my actual child is in the world…which is really a bonus for everyone, otherwise my children would have to get some serious counseling when they are adults…like they won’t already have to get some.

Let me know I am not talking to my self here, leave me a comment and make my day.