Self Esteem

For the record I seriously tweaked my neck sneezing while bending down..and I can't move it! It hurts so bad i want to cry. However, I wrote this post last night when I got back from the mall...so i had to post it for ya'll!

If you are ever looking to take a real shot to the self-esteem then take yourself to the mall.

As I walked into the mall I immediately felt like I looked like a defeated mom. You know those moms...you see them everywhere. It's the mom with the wrinklie top and the bottoms that have some concoction of something from your child's hands or mouth. Your hair generally looks like it is still caught in the wind, even though you are indoors and there is no wind. You then realize that you are dressed in clothes that are durable and sensible...basically, they scream "I'm an overworked mom!".

Maybe you are sporting the "backpack" or a "diaper bag" that acts like a purse (2 in 1). Your friends make fun of you because even when you go somewhere without the kid/s you take your diaper bag. Why mess up a good thing and transfer your stuff from a diaper bag to a purse only to have to return it back to the diaper bag hours later. Maybe you put on makeup that day. Or if you are like me, you tossed a coin this morning to either do makeup or do your hair. Hair won out, so no make up today.

The amount of effort I put into myself this morning is dismal. Not only did I wear a shirt sporting a few good sized holes down my arm, I also wore it inside out half the day!

Yes, going to the mall can be a shock to the system. Not that my goal in life is to look like a beauty queen contestant, I just want to go for the less drabby "I'm an exhausted, beat down, rundown, overworked mom". So the idea: well it's time to buy some new clothes. Not that i am going to break the bank and spend money i don't have. I am going to buy a few versatile items i can mix and match with and hope for the best.

If you have not entered the giveaway contest enter it today..because it is the last day to enter. Click here to enter.

A little something for you...

I have a love of making hair bows and hair clips with flowers on them for my daughter. Who am I kidding, I like making them for myself too. On Monday my daughter and I journeyed off to the nearest craft store for some supplies and made some hair accessories. We made so many that i decided to have a little giveaway to gift some away.

To enter: Please become a follower of this blog and leave a comment.

The winner will be chosen on Friday.

Upcoming Giveaways:
Keep your eyes peeled for these upcoming giveaways.
Halloween necklace
25 days till Christmas Giveaway
$100 Visa gift card
If you want to be a sponsor contact me sbcottage@gmail.com

Also...My kids are in the Cutest baby and Kid contest, so feel free to vote for them if you haven't.
To vote for my son Click here. He is #12 in the Baby section.
To vote for my daughter Click here. She is #12 in the Kid section.

BIG HAIR

As I drove my daughter to school today, I noticed some of the leaves changed colors. Finally. Hello Fall, We have missed you. I loved when i woke up this morning and i looked out my window...it was all groggy outside. I love it when it's like that. Makes me want to cuddle up with a blanket, a book and a movie.


This morning when my half naked daughter came frolicking through our room I almost passed out. Her hair....I don' t think i have ever seen her hair that big before. We also had about 12 minutes to get up, ready, dressed, cleaned up, and fed before school (we woke up late). I knew there was NO WAY I could dig through that a resurrect her calm curls from the crazy girls that were on her head. So I did a pathetic quick brush job on her hair and tossed a headband on. However, the headband did nothing to tame that craziness. So I tossed on some detangler to try and comb it and lay her hair down more flat. No luck, the hair wanted to be big today. I found the hat that my sister-in-law made for my daughter, put that on her head and we called it good. It was still BIG...just not as BIG as it was before. I sent up a few silent prayers that she does not take off her hat at school.

Don't forget to vote for my kids in hte cutest baby/ kid contest.
To vote for Christian. Click Here: Cutest Baby Contest He is #12 (vote to the left hand side)
To vote for Haylie. Click Here: Cutest Kid Contest She is #12 also. (vote to the left hand side)

Nope. Not me

I did not roll over and ignore my crying child, in hopes that my husband would wake up (with a careful nudge) to go and get him. What kind of mother would i be? No, that was not me.

I did not run into the pantry where my children can't see me and stuff my face with Oreo cookies in 10 seconds flat. How incredibly disgusting! No, not me.


I did not use lotion in my daughter's hair because i have no idea where the hair gel is. No, not me.

I did not sign myself up to buy a $300 food dehydrator, then back out. No, not me.

I did not let my kids hang out in their undies for a full day last week. No, not me

I did not accidentally use my husband's toothbrush to brush my teeth and then not tell him. No, not me.

I did not put clean clothes back in the wash again because i was too lazy to fold them. I firmly believe a clean home is a happy home. I would never do something so "lazy". No, not me.

I did not check my email like a crazed manic (214 times) last week in hopes of hearing some important news. Talk about OCD. Nope. That is sooo not me!

I did not grab my daughter's red shoes to put on my son because i had no time to run up the stairs and grab his camouflage shoes. No. Not me!

I did not slip and fall down a full flight of stairs while strutting the new heels that i practically begged like a dog for, which I was told were to dangerous for me! No. that was not me at all!

I did not forget that my daughter had sharing time (again) and rush to the car to grab whatever random toy she left in there. Nope, that was not me at all!

****On another note: Vote for my kid's in the cutest baby/kid contest. Christian is listed in the baby section, and Haylie is listed in the kid section. They are both #12. Click here to Vote

Utah vs. California

I feel like I have been interviewing everyone I know about Utah. It started with me telling people that we are planning to move to Utah in a few months, and live closer to my husband’s family. People here were telling me I wouldn’t like it….it’s “different” they would say. Will it be a bit of culture shock? Yeah, I’m sure it will be. Will it be weird to go inside a mall and not see a group of girls in bare midriffs rockin’ “bull’s eye” tattoos? Sure.

Hopefully the area I am moving to will be diverse, or somewhat diverse. Will I “blend” in Utah? The answer is: Most likely not. If I cannot blend in California, my personality is bound to not blend there and of course leave many confused by my usually normal sarcastic behavior which will of course be misconstrued as RUDE &HATEFUL, I’ll be blacklisted by all the Mormons. This will then cause me countless hours of tears and trying to find a doctor to give me anti-depressants, just to fit in.

Anyway, so there is a good chance I will have no friends in Utah, which truly is fine by me. As my husband felt the need to remind me I gave up my “so called social life” for volunteer work, so that I can complete the volunteer hours required to get into med-school. So, between kids, my school, work, and their school…it probably works out best.

I would probably be their friend then blow them off and never call and hang out because I am too busy, then they would be completely offended. We would make fake “let’s get together” dates…when really we both know we won’t. Kind of like when you see a friend (or extended family member) that you haven’t seen in a little bit and you run out of conversation so you end by saying something like, “we really need to get together and have lunch, or do a date night”. But you are both aware that as soon as you walk out that door no one is calling anyone to schedule anything, you both know what you were doing…you were pretending.

I digress…so yes, I have heard the “church is different out there”. Then when I had people explain to me what they meant. I better understood that, actually, the church is the same there as it is here and everywhere else an LDS church is located. However, the people there are “different”, or so I hear. Most people seemed to be at a loss for how to describe Mormons in Utah to me. What do you mean they are different? “Do they all have third nipples and puss streaming uncontrollably from their eyes? “ Of course not, I was informed. Well…What the HAIL is wrong with them then? Finally I was informed that there is some clickety click click clicks in Utah. Big woop dee do da. I could have told you that and I don’t even live there. Stuck up? Check. Snobs? Check. Self-Righteous? Double check. Just kidding.....well kind of. There are definitely large parts of California that represent this...Hello southern California. Personally, I like to believe that not all of Utah is like that, it can’t be right? I am sure I have an overly judgmental view, why? Is it from being in California too long and listening to too many people rag on Utah Mormons? Or is it just that most Mormons from Utah..come off a bit…well, different?

Things I Love

There are those moments when I am with my family and it is pure bliss.

It is that moment when I look at my husband and he is laying on the floor tickling our children, who of course run away, only to run back in for more.

I love those moments when my DH and I are lying on the couch talking and you can hear Haylie and Christian laughing their heads off.

I love those moments.

I love when I drop Haylie off to preschool and it is just me and Christian enjoying each other for a few hours. It is then that I really get to tune into him and know him.

I love those moments when I pick up Haylie from school and she sees me waiting by the door and runs full force at me to show me her sticker that she got from her teacher.

I love those moments

I love those moments when I am walking around the house and my husband grabs me and tells me how much he loves me...and some other stuff (wink*wink)

I love is when my husband watches the kids so I can go out and take a break and enjoy myself.

I love it when my husband makes dinner…let’s be honest here, it is NOT my strong suit.

I love when my children get along.

What are the moments that you love?

Too Good for Payless

As a kid we didn’t have a whole ton of money growing up. So payless was usually the go-to place for shoes. From 6^th grade till about 10^th I hated this. Before 6^th grade, I don’t think I really cared, i don’t think anyone really cared about “brands” and all that hoopla until the 6^th grade.

Once I turned 15 and a half I was working at McDonald’s buying my own Puma’s and Nikes…goodbye Payless. Now, it wasn’t just because it was “Payless” that I hated (and I do mean hated) their shoes…it was the fact that I and countless other victims were basically crucified at school for our “Payless kicks”. Now they make the shoes much cuter. But then, It was extremely obvious you were wearing payless shoes. Usually because you were wearing the shoes that was featured in the commercial, or because they were so plain it was obvious they had to have come from there. My mother once bought me Addida knock offs at Payless….the jokes went on for DAYZ! I would wear long pants to try and cover up the 4^th stripes, because everyone knows Addidas only has 3 stripes not 4…why call unnecessary attention to myself by wearing knock offs with 4 stripes.

Fast-forward to two and a half weeks ago.

Two and a half weeks ago I had to by my daughter her ballet shoes and tap shoes. The teacher recommended Payless. I could tell that she noticed I was uncomfortable when she said the word “Payless”. I was uncomfortable. I visibly shuddered and tried to control the acid reflex I could feel churning its way up. I pasted on a smile and walked out of there thinking, “No kid of mine is wearing payless kicks!” I took myself to a few stores around town, target, Khols…that whole bit, in search of tap and ballet shoes, no such luck. So I did what I thought I would never do.

I braced myself and walked into payless looking for tap and ballet shoes. Low and behold, they had them. Not only did they have them…but they were dang cute and the ballet shoes looked wayyyy better than the cheapo foam looking ones I seen at target. I had no idea that payless is partnered with the ADT (American Dance Theater). I was so impressed by the shoes. After buying her shoes I browsed around the store looking at all the shoes they had to offer…and HELLO when did they get so cute? Did I miss this train? Or is it now that I am a parent I can see a different perspective? I was in shoes heaven. I was making notes in my head what I was going to come back and buy.

I was telling My DH how adorable the shoes were, and how I cannot believe we were buying our kids $40.00 Nikes and crap like that when we could get these dang cute shoes for $12 bucks. Of course, like any man, hewas excited because, well…anything that saves money makes him happy. He did say though, once they hit 5^th grade kids can be brutal and we should cross payless off that list when time comes. How did I ever think I was better than Payless? When did I become “that” person? Well it’s nice to get off that high horse and rest my booty on the couch with the more sensible people.

Don't forget to B-R-E-A-T-H

Today was a hellish day. It was terrible from sun up to sun down. I did momentarily contemplate leaving my kids at Ikea and taking myself to McDonald's for some peace and quite..then going back to Ikea and pretending like I "lost" my kids...when i probably just left them playing in the kid area.

At around 3pm I allowed my children to have a self government and leave me alone...didn't go well. I did't think it would, but mom had mentally checked out.

As I write this my daughter is repeating "mommie, mommie, mommie" from her doorway. On any other day I would acknowledge her...walk into her room give her a hug and kiss and ask "what's wrong baby?"...right now i am just going to ignore it though. Ihave a headache the size of Texas...yes Houston, we most definitely have a problem.

Amongst the nightmare of things today..my daughter COMPLETELY trashed her room! On a daily basis I refold the clothes she takes out of all her drawers to makes what she calls "a clothing cake". Today she took it to a whole other level. she dumped out everything from her dresser drawers, all her millions of shoes from her closet, every bloody toy in her room and every single item off she shelf. After seeing that I mentally made the note that I am stripping her room bare! Well..I am for sure removing her dresser out of her room, I am sick of day in and day out having to re-due her clothes because she wants to have "clothing cake parties".

My children who usually have their "moments" don't usually get into full on fights with eachother. Today I could not keep them apart. They fought all flipin day long! They would start hitting eachother then I would seperate them and put them in their own rooms to play...then 10 minutes later they would find away back to eachother and start again (keep in mind, they had plenty of timeouts while this was going down). After about 20 tries i got sick of it..i was defeated.."you wanna beat the hell out of eachother? okay. " Yes, i know what you are thinking, Gasp "Bad mommie!". Look, I have no illusions that i'll be winning any type of mother of the year award anytime soon.

I think somehwhere after my daughter took my house and car keys and threw them in the bushes, I just lost it. Not in the sense that I went gangbuster and went Ike and Tina on my kids...But i was soooo over it. My mind had shut down from dealing with them. That has never actually happened. On rough days I hold it together pretty well until they go down to bed. I kindly informed my children who usually stay up till 8pm, that they would be going to bed at 6pm tonight since neither of them know how to keep their hands to theirselves (yes..that tune "keep your hands to yourself from Yo Gabba Gabba came into my head just now). That was of course met by tears and whinning..in which..i didn't care.

I was actually at the point where if my kids were swinging on the top of a chanderlier I would be like, "just try not to land on your face when you fall" and keep on walking like it was nothing. no stoppping to freak out and rush to grab them and get them down. Nope, not today. Today..this mommie was worn and beat down.

Yeah, today was a no good, very bad day. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

WordLess Wednesday

I obviously have a problem with studying the required reading...Medschool here I come...(yeah right!)

I'M having a BABY!

I am having a baby. Yeah! Well…the baby isn’t exactly here or in my belly yet…but I am sure he/she is waiting for me to get my ace together and figure out what the “hail” I am doing. I have been waffling back and forth of to have a baby, or to not have one. Yes I am only 24, but I feel like I have this small window left to continue expanding our family. I am in the process of finishing (slash) taking some post bachelor classes to actually apply to med school. So basically I have about a year and a half to 2 years before I am all done with all the chemistry classes. I would much rather have a baby now, then try and have it when I am in med school dealing with an even nuttier schedule.

I have no pressure from anyone to have a baby. Of course the hubby would like a couple more ( I max out at 4 kids altogether)..oh yeah..and my mom is ragging on me to pop a few more babies out.

Here are my reasons that 2 kids are better than 3:

1. So much easier to find a sitter for 2 kids, rather than 3

2. My hubby and I have been on 2 cruises and want to go on more, I am not even sure we could do that with 3 kids (who will watch the kids for a week or more?)

3. Kids are expensive….another one would surely put me in the poor house, right?

4. My kids are at the age where they sleep blissfully, I am afraid to give that up…I like my routine...and my sleep

5. Things work so good right now, I am afraid to throw the train off the tracks

6. Traveling by car and plane is much easier with 2 kids vs. 3 because DH and I can both take a child..with 3 kids, someone has to sit alone

7. I would have to buy a bigger vehicle, perhaps an suv ( Not so bad actually)

8. Medical insurance…fudge! It’s already expensive

9. My two kiddos are best friends..sure they have their “moments”

10. I don’t have to run into a bathroom in public and self express my milk because my boobs are super engorged (really, this is the best reason of them all)

Here are my reasons why baby #3 is good

1. We know our family is not “complete”

2. My daughter has been asking for a “sister” at every opportunity she gets to open her mouth

3. Because the more the merrier, right?

4. If I wait till I have finished med school…my kids will be so far apart in age!

5. Because babies make the world better

I know my reasons for holding off on baby #3 seem selfish…because mostly they are. One minute I am gung ho ready to try for a baby, then the next …I just have to get things “perfect” before tossing in another monkey into our mix.

Did/Do you have reason for holding off on your second or 3^rd, or even 4^th child? What finally made you bite the bullet and do it? Leave a comment and let me know.