Utah vs. California

I feel like I have been interviewing everyone I know about Utah. It started with me telling people that we are planning to move to Utah in a few months, and live closer to my husband’s family. People here were telling me I wouldn’t like it….it’s “different” they would say. Will it be a bit of culture shock? Yeah, I’m sure it will be. Will it be weird to go inside a mall and not see a group of girls in bare midriffs rockin’ “bull’s eye” tattoos? Sure.

Hopefully the area I am moving to will be diverse, or somewhat diverse. Will I “blend” in Utah? The answer is: Most likely not. If I cannot blend in California, my personality is bound to not blend there and of course leave many confused by my usually normal sarcastic behavior which will of course be misconstrued as RUDE &HATEFUL, I’ll be blacklisted by all the Mormons. This will then cause me countless hours of tears and trying to find a doctor to give me anti-depressants, just to fit in.

Anyway, so there is a good chance I will have no friends in Utah, which truly is fine by me. As my husband felt the need to remind me I gave up my “so called social life” for volunteer work, so that I can complete the volunteer hours required to get into med-school. So, between kids, my school, work, and their school…it probably works out best.

I would probably be their friend then blow them off and never call and hang out because I am too busy, then they would be completely offended. We would make fake “let’s get together” dates…when really we both know we won’t. Kind of like when you see a friend (or extended family member) that you haven’t seen in a little bit and you run out of conversation so you end by saying something like, “we really need to get together and have lunch, or do a date night”. But you are both aware that as soon as you walk out that door no one is calling anyone to schedule anything, you both know what you were doing…you were pretending.

I digress…so yes, I have heard the “church is different out there”. Then when I had people explain to me what they meant. I better understood that, actually, the church is the same there as it is here and everywhere else an LDS church is located. However, the people there are “different”, or so I hear. Most people seemed to be at a loss for how to describe Mormons in Utah to me. What do you mean they are different? “Do they all have third nipples and puss streaming uncontrollably from their eyes? “ Of course not, I was informed. Well…What the HAIL is wrong with them then? Finally I was informed that there is some clickety click click clicks in Utah. Big woop dee do da. I could have told you that and I don’t even live there. Stuck up? Check. Snobs? Check. Self-Righteous? Double check. Just kidding.....well kind of. There are definitely large parts of California that represent this...Hello southern California. Personally, I like to believe that not all of Utah is like that, it can’t be right? I am sure I have an overly judgmental view, why? Is it from being in California too long and listening to too many people rag on Utah Mormons? Or is it just that most Mormons from Utah..come off a bit…well, different?