Things you don't know about me...and yes, i'm a bit embarrassed to share. This will prove...that I truly have no secrets.
1. my most horrifying memory ( which my husband holds his side laughing his head off about) is when i was...maybe 5 or 6 (i hope that is correct, i'll be even more mortified if i was like 9) and my sister got invited to a sleepover party. Somehow I got to tag along with my older sister and go. I was a little sick...during the middle of the night i had an accident in my sleeping bag! Yes...i poop-poop-ka-chooed in the sleeping bag. My parents were phoned and my sister and i were rushed out of there faster that you can say "ewwww! gross"
2. Around age 8, i got a button stuck on the roof of my mouth. You know those metal buttons that can come apart? Well i had it in my mouth and got it stuck. Like the retard i was i went into the kitchen and got a butter knife to get it out. My sister told my dad. It was embarrassing going to the ER .
3. A year or so after that incident I swallowed a diary lock. Nope, not the key..like in so many romantic movies...but the lock. And...ohhhhhhh, how it hurt! I was in shock. I didn't tell my teacher (this dumb incident was done in class). The lunch time came around...i couldn't eat my peas because the lock was stuck and hurt so much. This was followed by yet another ER visit.
4. Moving on to my married years. While swinging on a shopping cart at night and reminiscing that i was 10 again I flipped the shopping basket over and twisted my ankle. People were starring, so i gather the little almost non existant pride that i had..took the shopping cart back and Slowy walked to my car so it didn't look like i was limping. Later my ankle swelled up to the size of an elephant's. This was followed by a trip to the ER, in which i had to explain how this happened. I was mortified
5. The one that tops them all...the grand daddy if you will. I was crafting (doesn't it always happen like this?) and i had the Tacky glue in my hand. I was pressing it and nothing would come out. So like a retard i put it in front of my eye (to get a better view) and squeezed..next thing i know i have a bottle if tacky glue in my eye. I'm screaming, My husband has my face over the sink while spraying my eye with the sink hose ( i secretly believe he enjoyed that). This was followed by a trip to the ER. I asked the triage nurse if i could skip telling him how this happened. It was a no go. I told him, he laughed...to hard if you ask me. He said they always have bets going on in the hospital of who does the dumbiest thing of the night. He said i won the award that night. I was mortified.
So far i have been 2 years clean of having to go to the ER for myself. I hopefulluy i can have another 2 years...